If she says it isn't, I'd tell you to keep yourself exposed and ask her, at the appropriate time, to rub your glutes (noun, from Al Gore ass). I'd tell you to ask how relaxed you'll be at the end of the massage, and if she says you'll be completely relaxed, you might then ask if draping is mandatory. Then I'd tell you to look for established code words like generous and roses. With that in mind, I'd tell you to get a subscription to the Internet and find yourself a masseuse (noun, from Old French poss and ability), as opposed to a massage therapist (noun, from Middle English no and chance). First, I'd direct you to comedian and radio host Jim Norton, who wrote extensively on the subject in his book, but I wouldn't mention the name of the book because I believe that if you give a man a title, he'll come once, but if you teach him to Google, he'll come forever. I don't want to answer this, but let's say I did. I don't want to get a happy ending with my massage, but let's say I did.
